Don’t throw the reader out of your story. This is one of the prime caveats of writing. Any time you do or say anything that derails the reader, you are W-R-O-N-G.
This is a contentious post. Please feel free to disagree with me.
One of the things that will eject this reader from your book is the misuse of language, like using the word “further” when you mean “more distant.” The correct word is “farther.” While numerous highly-regarded authors including Flannery O’Connor have used further in this sense—and I by no means intend to place myself alongside or above such literary greats—because this usage is subject to debate, to so employ it, except in dialogue where a character’s questionable grammar may be appropriate, is wrong. Why? Because it throws me and others like me out of the narrative and into my chair where I fume for a minute before I can resume reading.
Among its proper uses, further is a verb meaning “to promote” or “to enhance” as in to further a cause. It is also an adverb meaning “additionally” as in Further, when posting to a blog, one should not ramble, or an adjective meaning “additional,” e.g. without further ado. But if you persist in arguing it is interchangeable with farther, then you must accept that the sentence “How fur is it into town?” has ascended from patois into proper English… and it hasn’t. Fur, further, furthest? Don’t make me laugh!
One clearly ungrammatical error is the substitution of “in” for “into.”
At the moment, I am reading a military thriller by an author Brad Thor calls “the new Tom Clancy.” I agree. The man’s writing is rich and interwoven with detail in such a manner it enhances the work without distracting from the story’s thrust. Still, when he writes of a CIA operative throwing his gear “in the boat” from the water, he describes a ridiculous act and I pause to fume before I return to the plot.
You can see I tend to fume a lot.
When the agent throws his gear from outside the boat so it ends up inside the boat, the operative preposition is “into,” which designates a transition in location. On the other hand, in this situation, throwing his gear in the boat means he reaches over the side from the water, grabs some gear already within the boat and tosses it so it remains there. That is ludicrous.
Why the fuss? I believe anything one attempts more than momentarily should be undertaken in earnest. If you have chosen to be a writer, writing is your job. Do it well. Do it better than anyone else if you can. If you can’t, try anyway. Aside from imagination, language is the only tool you have and English is an especially rich and nuanced one. Master it!