You Don’t Always Get What You Want

I was reminded this morning that I had a blog due this Thursday. *laughs* Well I’m at my sister’s for the holiday weekend and the kids are demolishing the presents in the other room.

 As adults we tend to be more subtle (usually) about expressing our disappointment when things don’t turn out like we expected them too. Kids don’t really do that. *grins* When they’re disappointed about something they’ll let you know – often loudly.

 For Buddhists, suffering is the disconnect that occurs between our expectations of things and the way things actually are.

 The Rolling Stones said much the same thing in their famous song. Though they went one step further, asserting that while you may not get what you want … you get what you need.

 Think about that for a minute.

 How often do we pay attention when circumstances turn out differently from what we expected? Do we take a lesson from it, or do we waste the moment bemoaning our poor fortune? Do we use it to grow and flourish – like a vegetable garden under a layer of fertilizer – or do we just worry about the smell?

 Seek the brilliance in the pieces of shattered dreams.

 Find the opportunity in failure.

 Gather up your disasters. Use them to fuel your future plans.

 Don’t ever give up, or give in.

 Living in the present, being fully aware, is about learning to accept things as they are and using the situation you are presented with to its fullest. Letting go of expectations frees you to enjoy and flourish. Go at it.

 You might not get what you want, but I bet you’ll get what you need.

K.B. Wagers

 <i>Photo by K.B. Wagers

Pendant by the lovely designer at <a href=””>Grigio Design</a></i>


11 responses to “You Don’t Always Get What You Want

  1. Wise beyond your years, Katy. It’s hard for most to consider making lemonade when life hands them fertilizer. Years ago, I learned to replace the word Failure with Opportunity—a chance to make or do something other than what I’d originally intended—and that’s made all the difference in the world.

    Thank you.

    • It is hard. I think it takes a lot of conscious thought to be able to adjust into “how do I make this an opportunity?” mindset. And obviously there’s somethings where it’s totally appropriate to take a moment (or day, or longer) to be sad or angry or whatever.


  2. Yes, THIS.

    *hugs* You’re my hero, and not just because you unclog sinks and could kill someone with a chopstick. 😀


  3. What’s the old saying, “If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.” I guess that’s been my motto. However, I do need those few days to rant, rave, and feel pissed on!


    • Wally –

      One of my tattoos is from a Hemmingway quote, but not the part people usually recognize. I had “Break or be killed” inked on my forearm early this year as a reminder…

      “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.”

  4. Katy, I always have that moment of anger or grief (sometimes slightly longer than a moment *grins*) but I turn it around pretty quickly, mostly because there almost always is something positive in the negative. Plus I hate being angry or sad so it’s really just a way of making myself feel better!


    • I think whatever works, Kate! There are great tragedies that can really put us on our knees and we might think at the time we’ll never get back up. But I’ve seen it and it’s an incredibly inspiring thing when people can overcome that.

  5. All too often, people look outside of themselves to fulfill their needs and provide answers for their lives. Being self aware requires hard work, but it’s so worth it.
    Great post Katy, especially for a last minute thing!

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