There are some times on the road of life when you hit a wall and have to change direction. I am, apparently, at that point. Several incidents over the past few days have made it painfully obvious that I need to rethink the path I’m following. I’m no longer moving forward, I’m just sitting and stagnating. And that, to me, is unacceptable.
There are habits and thought processes I need to break down and re-assess. There are aspects of my nature I need to analyze and dissect.
I feel like a caterpillar spinning a cocoon around myself in order to transform into a butterfly. The changes I’m contemplating are in direct opposition to my innermost nature and, to be completely honest, I’m terrified. It’s going to be messy, painful, and hard work, but I know it will make me a healthier and stronger person. There will be lots tears and swearing and chocolate and alcohol. My poor husband will be therapist, comforter, punching bag, and cheerleader all in one. (I hope he’s up for it. Again.)
This isn’t the first time I’ve gone through this (and it probably won’t be the last) so I have a relatively good idea of what to expect. Of course, forging new paths is always a unique experience and there are always hidden turns and unexpected pitfalls. I just need to stay determined and keep plodding along one step at a time.
If all goes well, I should break out of my chrysalis and fly away, free of the shackles that bind me to where I am today.
*breathes in deep and takes the first step onto a new path*